Hello my name is …

“Punch you in the neck”

because that’s how i feel right now …

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untitled poem

she left words for him and me both
those words are manifest
right before my eyes
and a twinge of joy
pulls at my inner being

she left perspective hanging on a ledge
like a secret note for him to find
at the right moment
bittersweet it was to discover

she left whispers and traces
in actions and memories
in the stars and in my heart
but i still can’t let go

she simply dreams me wishes
ignored, they cannot be

If i were in bits

I’d be wondering what I was before I shattered

Then I’d thoughtfully clean up

Because what you were is not what you are

and what you are is always changing

changing constantly consistently

maybe not consistently but there is chaos

and consistent chaos

within us leads us to who we can be

but first we pick up the pieces

and continue on our way

It still doesn’t feel like a year

But that doesn’t mean I can’t feel you influence still with me …

Your laughter I still catch lingering on the breeze that wisps through my hair

Your voice I still catch drifting in as whispers in my dreams

Your words, still lifting me up through the hard days and times when I need it the most

I know I miss you but I can only take all the positive and know the universe will right itself because your energy is still there.

See you in my dreams …

The day I learned my eyesight was bad

When I was in 3rd grade, I always had to move to the front of the classroom to see what was on the projector screen. Thinking about the projector makes me laugh to think how ancient that is now.

My teacher, Mrs. Proctor suggested to my parents that I needed to get my eyes checked. Whoopy! Was I worried about being called four-eyes? Not really. It was whatever to me. I seriously didn’t understand the concept of bullying when I was a child. It was always, “Treat others like you would be treated” Apparently, it’s hard for children across the nation to swallow that pill. I was probably just really good at ignoring people but then again I was friends with everyone – except sometimes there would always be that group of girls that felt the need to talk shit for no reason whatsoever except that they learned how to do it from the older kids. It was the 90’s! We were entering an era of bitchassness.

I’ll always remember that day … we were doing algebraic math problems, my crush was sitting somewhere close by

Sometimes I believe that people with perfect eyesight can see and observe the truth better than people with poor eyesight because the world to a person like me is obscured, shadowed, and blurry. We strive for clarity through contact lenses or eyeglasses or even recreating our retinas through surgery. If I could get a statistic on people’s visions and the rate this generations deteriorating … what would we find. It probably has no correlation.

Then I start to think, it isn’t about eyesight … it is about vision. The ability to see beyond our abilities.

Survival was one thing on my mind the day I learned my eyesight was becoming poorer and poorer … I would never let it hamper my ability to move through a day with out purpose, to keep moving as though it were nothing.

Anyway, my eyesight is still poor and if there were ever a zombie apocalypse I’d be one of the first to perish because my glasses would probably break and there’d be no way I could stock up on contact lenses that would last me a lifetime.